KNOWING THE RIGHT MAN FOR MARRIAGE

By the special grace of God am dedicating this write up to women all over the world, who desire or are yet to marry. I pray that the Lord will lead you to the right man who will treat you as a queen for the rest of your days on earth. As a woman God created you to be a blessing to your spouse, your children, community and the world at large. You need to be proud of yourself, believe in yourself and trust God for the best in life knowing that no matter how bad life may have treated you or is treating you, the best is still ahead.

If you are praying to God for the right man for marriage, the first question that should come to your mind is how willing am I in accepting the authority of the man I want to live with for the rest of my life, and the second question, is he of the same faith with me?

Beloved, all that God wants from you is to follow His plans (Jeremiah 29:11). I guess your next question is what if the man is abusive or he does not know his role as a man or husband, what then? Well my answer to that question is that your focus should not be in the “LORD WHAT IF” rather it should be “LORD WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IN THIS MATTER.” It’s like growing up and hearing that maths is the hardest subject, yet some people take it as their easiest subject (my class mate POE for example). I can tell you that it is all about your mind set. If you will allow what God says determine the course of your life, I tell you that you will never go wrong. The Holy Spirit will teach you all things (John 14:26). My dear if you are not yet married, just kneel down and thank God for He wants you to learn the basics of marriage before marrying. Like my Pastor would say, “marriage is a circle that many want to enter and many inside want to go out or are going out.” Many women are living in fear; fear of what happened to their mother not to repeat in their own lives, and so many other reasons. Well there are pointers or signs when you are in the period of dating (knowing yourselves). A man can hide who he is but cannot hide his attitude towards you the woman or matters of life. I believe so much that God has given women this thing called “perception,” that is knowing men beyond face value.

For example you meet a young man and everything about him is perfect yet inside you, you hear the warning bell sounding so hard that there’s something wrong about him you cannot pin point. The man is there at your beck and call, opening the car door for you, buying flowers and gifts for you, he’s in church on time, prays and speaks in tongue, never harassed you or asked for sex yet the alarm bell keeps going off. My dear sister, you must be careful. You may be persuaded by friends and relatives to go ahead and marry him but I believe that is God’s way of stopping you from a failed marriage in the future. You need to trust God for He has your best interest in His heart and He shall order your footsteps. Please tread with caution, for there is a way that seems right in a man’s way yet it leads to destruction (Proverbs 16:25; Psalm 37:23). I would suggest that you tell your pastor to agree with you in prayer, you go and pray for confirmation, and when you cannot get a confirmation just meet him and say a polite “NO” that the marriage is not going to work out. 

You may be asking what if in the case you have prayed and you feel convinced beyond reasonable doubt yet your heart is still shaky about the whole relationship what next? Sometimes you may not like the height of the man or his colour or tribe or he may not be that handsome as you like your man to be. Moses was a man who never wanted to go back to Egypt when God called him. He gave several excuses yet God gave him assurance in all (Exodus chapter 3 & 4). Matthew 7: 9 – 11 says, “You parents if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him.” One of the major ways to know if it is God’s will for you is by God giving you peace of mind (Philippians 4:7). When you have peace of mind and the devil is trying to trick you by reminding you what had happened to Mrs A or Mrs B, he (Satan) may try to pressurise you to quit the relationship, my suggestion is tell the Lord to give you peace of mind amidst the voice of the devil, and rebuke the devil. Though the Lord may lead you on a long route to get to your destination, He will never lead you wrong. You can be sure to depend on God in the midst of confusion and pressure (Psalm 37:23). There is no perfect man only God is perfect and is incapable of making mistakes. The first question is how willing are you as a woman who desires to marry, ready to accept the authority of a man because of God? Answer this question and I tell you, you will never be afraid of men.

NOTE: (2 Corinthians 6: 14 - 18) Please bear in mind that the young man “must” be of the same faith (Christian) and beliefs with you and “if” he does not have the same Christian “beliefs” with you please meet with your pastor for a spiritual advice. I believe that it is better you have the same beliefs even though he says he’s a Christian.